Shametria Gonzales has worked as a Rape Prevention Educator for the New Orleans Family Justice Center, facilitated for the Teen Sex and the Law program for the Children’s Advocacy Center and assisted victims of sexual assault for University Medical Hospital.
Author and transformational speaker Shametria Gonzales sat down with us to discuss her newly released book ” The Reflection Eyes See” written by herself and her daughter Averianne Gonzales. It’s a story about a mother and daughter’s journey through college, broke sleeping on a floor, to stable and living their dreams.
Shive: Tell us a little about yourself? Perhaps something not many people know?
Gonzales: My name is Shametria Gonzales. I am a transformational speaker that helps women and Children to redevelop themselves after dealing with trauma. Before starting my business, Spiritually Connected , I worked as a Rape Prevention Educator for the New Orleans Family Justice Center, facilitated for the Teen Sex and the Law program for the Children’s Advocacy Center, assisted victims of sexual assault for University Medical Hospital, and I co-authored a book with my 9-year-old daughter in order to raise awareness on the effects of childhood trauma, titled The Reflection Eyes See. After a successful career in being an educator, presenter, and activist, now I use my story as a platform to inspire others. I spent my entire 20s going to conferences, volunteering, reading books, and finding the best mentors in order to redevelop myself and find likeminded people to collaborate with. Now I use all the knowledge and wisdom I obtained from mentors and survivors over the years in order to put on workshops and presentations to inspire the audience to move into massive action, and change. I believe the only way to change the world is to first change myself. My passion and purpose in life are to make sure not one survivor feels alone or unworthy of a safe and healthy relationship.
Shive: How did you get into this line of work?
Gonzales: After college, I got into self-development and healing. I was obsessed with books, podcasts, documentaries, and there was just one problem. I was in a toxic relationship. After 2 years of dealing with the abuse, I called the New Orleans Family Justice Center. They helped me in so many ways. I went there as a client and I was offered a job the next week. From there the sky was the limit.
Shive: What is your book about?
Gonzales: After college, I got into self-development and healing. I was obsessed with books, podcast, documentaries, and there was just one problem. I was in a toxic relationship. After 2 years of dealing with the abuse, I called the New Orleans Family Justice Center. They helped me in so many ways. I went there as a client and I was offered a job the next week. From there the sky was the limit.
Shive: The name of your book is The Reflection Eyes See. Why this for a title?
Gonzales: Our daughters, sons, children, nieces, nephews, and family are watching. We are all a reflection of each other’s actions, thoughts, and beliefs. I saw the innocence and beauty in my baby girl and she made me remember who I was as a child. I see every action I do as a reflection when I look at my daughter. I want people to look in the mirror and ask themselves the questions they have been avoiding for so long. Who am I? What is my purpose? It’s all about self-reflecting and getting to know one’s authentic self.
Shive: What is your favorite part of the book?
Gonzales: My favorite part of the book is the part when I talk about the women who adopted me and taught me life lessons through their actions. It was like 10 of them!
Shive: What was your inspiration for writing this particular book?
Gonzales: I wanted to raise awareness on the effects of ancestral trauma and how it affects us to this day. It’s a foundation to build on if you’re a survivor. It is about a mother and daughters journey through college, broke sleeping on a floor, to stable and living their dreams. It’s really a book of keys and testimonies. People remember stories and they apply those stories as references when they are seeking answers in life.
Shive: Why did you choose to include your daughter?
Gonzales: Avery has a way with words and a presence that speaks for itself. I knew if I was going to go on this journey then it was only right that I bring her with me. We did it all together. That built our relationship. She also gets to go to the radio interviews with news broadcast, speaking engagements, seminars, so much more, and me.
Shive: What advice would you give to some going thru abuse?
Gozales: The first thing I would do is listen to their story. I would look them in the eyes, give them my full attention, and just listen. Once they get everything out I would tell them I believe them and I thank them for sharing that with me. I would tell them how brave they where and reinsure them that they were not alone. I would ask them questions to get them to answer their own questions and come up with a plan based off what’s deep inside of them. I would not give them advice from my perspective because domestic violence shows up differently in every situation. I would connect them with local resources that have whatever they would need if I could not help. I would also let them know that The average women takes 7-10 times of going back and forth before leaving. I would tell them it didn’t matter if it was the 10th time of going back and forth, they have a choice in their life. It starts by deciding and taking action. I would work with them to create a safety plan. 7. You mentioned going thru abuse yourself, How did you cope with this?
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Shive: Is this book a biography or does it have characters? How do you select the names of your characters?
Gonzales: The book is a biography, and self-help book. The characters are women who have mentored me, and different stories of me and my daughter’s life experiences.
Shive: What was the hardest part of writing this book?
Gonzales: The researching, budgeting, and final edits. It seemed like it was never going to get finished.
Shive: Did you learn anything from writing this book and what was it?
Gonzales: I learned to trust the process. My daughter and I started this journey with a dream and idea. We didn’t know anything before we started. Now we know how to do it from start to finish and that is not something you can learn best just from trial and errors. We have become stronger and better because of this process we had to go through to get this book done.
Shive: Out of all those lessons which one stuck out the most?
Gonzales: The lesson that stuck out the most was the women named Ms Williams. When I was younger I had a lot of anger inside of me. I was the only black kid in a all white school. I had a toxic life at home so I would act out ever chance I got. One day I was going off on a group of boys and she came and yanked my arm and pulled me to the hall. The words she said next would never leave me. She said why do you act like that? I said nobody cares about me and I didn’t care either. Then she said the magic words. She said don’t you know they expect that from us. They expect you to be less than. They expect you to fail. Don’t prove them right. I was shocked. From that point on I was on my best behavior. I hated proving people right.
Shive: Is there a message in your novel that you hope readers will grasp?
Gonzales: The goal is to have people look at themselves with more compassion, love, and forgiveness after they finish reading the book. I also want them to know that in order for the world to change we have to see it to believe it will happen.
Shive: What are your future project(s)?
Gonzales: Yes I do. My latest project is called FORWARD. It stands for focused on real women and real dreams. I will be hosting a 28-day challenge for women that have just been released from Orleans parish prison. It will start on October 28th and run through January 28th. I am taking 25 women on a journey to move forward in their life. I am also working on a project called A night of Dreams. It will be a night of short monologues about survivors of trafficking and sexual assault. It’s going to be at the Algiers Auditorium from 2-5pm on January 12th. I also have a show on October 19th from 6:30 until 10pm at 5 West Bank expressway on the West-bank in New Orleans la.
Shive: What is your preferred method to have readers get in touch with or follow you (i.e., website, personal blog, Facebook page, here on Goodreads, etc.) and link(s)?
Gonzales: If anyone would like to get more information or donate to this cause please feel free to contact me at shametriajgonzales@gmail.com. They can also connect with me through any of my social media sights @shametriagonzales.
Shive: Do you have anything specific that you want to say to fans?
Gonzales: I want to thank the people who took the time to read this article. I want them to know we are all connected through spirit to one source. I want them to know they matter to the world and have something to offer no matter what their current situation is. Everybody should be on the lookout for my new project I am working on called FORWARD. I am focused on real women and real dreams. Together myself, community partners, and leaders in Orleans Paris will be hosting a 28 day challenge to help women that have been recently released from Orleans Parish Prison to move forward with their life.